It's the most wonderful time of the year! - in my humble opinion (I could type IMHO, but considering it took me months to finally figure out what the hell that meant, I'll spare the ignorant the trouble), next to Christmas, of course. Don't agree? Here's my list of why spring is the (second!) best time of the year (try and deny these babies):

1. University is finishing up - all that's left is exams, and are they REALLY that hard? (guaranteed you spend more time researching for papers, writing papers, editing papers, and finishing up your course work then you do studying)
2. The days are getting longer - the sun is barely down at 8pm, giving you much more time after school/work to enjoy outsideage
3. The summer outdoor concert series line-ups are announced
4. It's warm enough to go out without a jacket and enjoy the outdoors, before the smog alerts, sweltering humid heat that makes your clothes stick to you, etc., etc., generally making it impossible to do anything productive.
5. Tax Return Time - Whole loads of cash money in my hand. The myriad of ways I could enjoy it dance like sugar plums in my head.
   
6. My birthday! - That's right y'all. May 17th, part of the May 2-4 weekend in Canada. A looong weekend of BBQs, Drinking, Fireworks, etc. in the spirit of spring and the 22nd year of my birth. Mark it on your calendars.

By the way (btw - there's another, not so difficult one), May is definitely the best month of the year to have your birthday. For all the reasons listed above, and additionally,

1. Not too close or too far from Christmas - if you have your birthday too close to Christmas, you often get jipped out of presents/celebrations. Right in the middle of the year, people have paid off their christmas credit debt and are in the giving/celebrating mood as the winter lifts and the warm weather sets in (sounds greedy, but it's true!).
2. May 2-4 weekend: Since my birthday always falls directly on or around Victoria Day Weekend, my parents told me when I was young that they were in celebration of my birthday. I still choose to believe it to this day.
3. You (most likely) get to be a Taurus: Best zodiac sign by far. Stubborn, loyal, and a hell of a good appreciator for the finer things in life. Don't I know it. (If you are born after May 22, you're a Gemini. God help you).
   

For these reasons, Spring and May bordering on the horizon have made me a very happy person. Now if only I could get myself a better job and I don't think I could be any happier...for now.

Since I'm bollox deep in essays and haven't slept in something over 30 hours at this point, I'm merely going to share something someone wrote and totally appropriate it as my own. Happy Easter! ENJOY THE UNIQUENESS OF THIS SPECIAL DAY AND THIS LITTLE PIECE OF HISTORY!

I came across this in my travels today and I simply had to share. Any Torontonian will definitely get a kick out of this, in that "it's-funny-'cause-it's-true" kinda way:


Torontonian

noun.

1. A person who resides in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

2. A gracious and tolerant sort of guy or gal who listens with Herculean patience and nothing but a sad sigh now and then as every ill-educated sheep-shagger, penniless cod-kisser, sexually confused lumberjack and soulless oil tycoon befouling the rest of the country badmouths him tirelessly because they don't have half the cool shit that he does.

3. A person who starts feeling suicidal every year around the time of the Stanley Cup playoffs.

4. Someone who pays fully half of their income in taxes so that a bunch of miserable ingrates living in shacks can spend half the year on the dole, scratching their Molson muscles and bitching about how much they hate Torontonians.

5. A person who can find everything she needs within a twenty-minute walk or bike-ride from her front door.

6. A resident of the 416 area code, but mercifully not of the 905.

7. Someone who is too polite to tell his best friend, who lives in Vancouver, that, 'No, frankly I really don't wish I lived in Vancouver. Not everyone on the whole fucking planet wants to live in Vancouver, for Christ's sake. Besides, your whole goddamned drug-infested city's going to slide into the ocean some day, be it global warming, act of heavenly retribution, or one tremendous motherfucking earthquake. So there.'

Albertan: Torontonians are a bunch of Jesus-hating faggots. We should separate from Canada to get away from them.

Quebecker: Torontonians are a bunch of money-hungry conservatives. We should separate from Canada to get away from them.

Newfoundlander: Torontonians are a bunch of self-centred arses. We should separate from Canada to get away from them

Torontonian: I wish all those fucking leeches would separate from Canada so that I wouldn't have to pay for all their goddamned cigarettes and health care any more.

Today my MP3 player played its last song.  It passed into technological oblivion at approximately 4:30 pm EST when it refused to move from the welcome screen into the main menu, and is now caught in an eternal cycle of flashing "SanDisk" and "Goodbye" - this is what MP3 player's hell must look like.

I have decided that after many years of flash-based players and little to no space (two years ago having 2GB of space was considered generous), I'm going to try an ipod classic 80GB.  However, with school coming to an end with no relief from papers and exams in sight and therefore hardly any shifts at my store (which, btw, is so desperately bankrupt head office has predicted we won't be open by the end of April), I'm too financially unstable to purchase said item.

Which leaves me in a state of desperation - no music to walk to, public transit to, exercise to, drive to, etc. etc. well, just the thought makes me shake in my boots.

I found that a lot of my posts lately have been drawing back to the topic of weather. But with the winter we've had here in Toronto, do you blame me? One thing I can't help but commenting on is the way people in the city, regardless of age, gender, race, or any other difference you can think of, collectively act during winter storms and bad weather.

I was actually excited for this winter storm that is currently upon us simply for the fact that I'm up to my ears in assignments, final papers and impending exams and know that I literally need every hour, minute and second I can get to work on assignments. When I heard there was to be X amount of centimeters dropped overnight and into Saturday I was overjoyed since I had to work this morning and into the afternoon, and a deserted store = time for readings. While the store was much more deserted than usual, I was shocked and almost disturbed at the amount of people who did come in. And not so much over the act of coming to a pharmacy/grocery store, but rather for why and what they were buying.

For example, a man faced trechourous roads and an icy, unplowed bridge (our store is is situated just over the railway tracks) with cars sliding all over the road and buses stalling, unable to get up and though, to drop off two shirts to be laundered at our dry cleaning service. Laundered mind you, soap and water, like what your washing machine does at home.

Another came in to buy a cartload of Dr. Pepper and nothing else. Just Dr. Pepper. I watched him struggle to get the cart though the snow and to his car. 10 minutes later, he dragged the cart though the snow to buy another cartload. Did anyone fail to tell me the Dr. Pepper has excellent snow and ice melting properties?

So it's officially one month until the world turns off its lights for 1 hour in awareness for energy consumption and global warming.  I first heard about this amazing event in December.  Last year, Sydney Australia turned off all unnecessary lighting and appliances (homes, office buildings, commercial buildings, billboards, etc.) for one hour.  The energy and carbon emissions saved from that one hour was equivalent to taking thousands of cars off the road for one day.  This year, cities from all over the world, including 35 alone in Canada (Canada is, so far, the country with the largest amount of confirmed cities), will be participating on March 29th, 2008, by turning out all unnecessary lighting and appliances for one hour, between 8 and 9 pm. 

Here's a little promo film I found that gives some information about this amazing global event:

 

Of course there will be the skeptics and nay-sayers that will quickly jump on the idea and try to slit its throat. Yes , I understand that one hour can hardly change the world and stop the negative effects of global warming. But the event is about awareness, to make each and everyone of us understand just how much wasted energy we consume each and every day which is completely unnecessary. I am confident that every step taken to raise awareness will drive the point home to the extent where it can no longer be ignored. Once you know something you can't un-know it. You can just chose to be ignorant and part of the problem. Or you can do something about it. Many cities across the world are organizing public events for Earth Hour. Here in Toronto, Nathan Phillip Square will be hosting an event.

I urge everyone to participate and spread the word to others. For more information, please go to: www.earthhour.org

www.wwf.ca/earthhour

So a few friends and I decided that those Rogers commericals just don't cut it.  We were pretty sure that Rogers isn't the only company that can keep a strong signal in an elevator or in a stairwell.  So we decided to put Rogers' claims to the test and compare their service with two other major cellphone companies.  This is installment number one of a four part series in corporate brainwashing, enjoy!

 

I was walking home from work and realized the night sky was overwhelmingly beautiful. Last night's clear skies made for a perfect view of the lunar eclipse, and tonight the full moon shone brighter than I think I've ever seen it, encompassed on each side by Saturn and the brightest star in the Leo constellation.

As I was walking, I realized that in winter, the clearest most beautiful nights are often the most frigid. Something to ponder...

I was also reminded strangely of my favourite poem, by my favourite poet, Irish Romantic Thomas Moore. I thought I would share his words on this crisp and cold winter's night.

OH! think not my spirits are always as light,

And as free from a pang as they seem to you now,

Nor expect that the heart-beaming smile of to-night

Will return with to-morrow to brighten my brow.

No: -- life is a waste of wearisome hours,

Which seldom the rose of enjoyment adorns;

And the heart that is soonest awake to the flowers,

Is always the first to be touch'd by the thorns.

But send round the bowl, and be happy awhile --

May we never meet worse, in our pilgrimage here,

Than the tear that enjoyment may gild with a smile,

And the smile that compassion can turn to a tear.

The thread of our life would be dark, Heaven knows

If it were not with friendship and love intertwined;

And I care not how soon I may sink to repose,

When these blessing shall cease to be dear to my mind.

But they who have loved the fondest, the purest,

Too often have wept o'er the dream they believed;

And the heart that has slumber'd in friendship securest

Is happy indeed if 'twas never deceived.

But send round the bowl; while a relic of truth

Is in man or in woman, this prayer shall be mine, --

That the sunshine of love may illumine our youth,

And the moonlight of friendship console our decline.

Sometimes I see things happening in this city that I really can't even begin to understand. The recent snow removal initiatives that the City of Toronto are attempting to implement after several major winter storms are quite possibly the most poorly thought through initiatives I have ever seen.

Yesterday I was on my way home from school on the 60 bus that runs along Steeles West from the University. I was happy because class was ending early and I was able to get on the bus around 4:15, about 45 minutes before the road would become a war zone due to rush hour. That amount of time should have gotten me off the bus and home before 5 pm. I was blissfully unaware, listening to my MP3 player and catching up on some readings when I realized the bus had slowed to a near crawl, and we were only a few blocks onto Steeles. The bus window was clouded over with condensation and dirt, making it nearly impossible to see out, and was packed so tightly with people I had no ability to see the road or what the hold up may have been.

My usual ride takes between, from start to finish, about 30 - 45 minutes. At about 5:30 yesterday, an hour and 15 minutes after departing from the University Commons, I was still sitting on a bus that would move a few feet every 1 - 2 minutes, only to come to a dead stop once again. Dozens of probable causes ran though my mind, from a simple stalled call in the middle lane to a horrible car pile-up, or a pedestrian being hit (especially during rush hour when people who usually drive like maniacs with horseblinders on step it up to a whole other level of insanity). Finally, after 1 hour and 45 minutes, I decided to suck it up and get out at the next stop (I still had no idea where I was or how far I was going to have to walk). After pushing through a whole mess of people and finding myself about 5 blocks from my stop, I went out onto the sidewalk and noticed that all three lanes of traffic going east were blocked off by police cars and barricades. I walked a little further and saw huge dumptrucks and front loader machines scooping up the snowbanks from the side of the road.

A blocked section of road from 1 intersection to the next caused the time of my commute to more than double, and stopped rush hour traffic in a city of over 2 million people in all four directions for near kilometers. All so a few banks of snow could be removed.

Are you kidding me Toronto?

I couldn't figure out why removing snowbanks that had already been innocently sitting there for weeks needed to be removed so promptly, and why this had to be done on a major artery of traffic at the heart of the rush hour commute, which the City very well knew would be occurring at the time of the procedure. So I looked into it, figuring there must be something I'm missing. Here's an excerpt of an article I found in the Toronto Star today:

Major snowfalls this month, combined with a thaw and freeze, have created icy snowbanks that spill outward and impede traffic flow.

Crews worked through the weekend removing crusted snow from major downtown routes, as well as the Gardiner, Don Valley and Allen expressways.

"The concern is that people aren't able to park on side streets because of the amount of snow," says Noehammer. "And now, with the very cold temperatures, it's frozen into a hard, icy mass."

Crews have to break up the snowbanks and push the snow into the road so it can be scooped up into dump trucks.

On some major streets, the city used massive snowblowers to shave down banks.

This "makes space for additional snow to be stored in the next storm," says Noehammer.

To most people, the sooty white piles between a sidewalk and road are just snowbanks.
But to the city, those areas are storage spaces for snow – and they must, according to policy, get whittled down once they reach a height of 30 centimetres.

Once again, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You're doing this to make the sidewalks more accessible? You mean, the same sidewalks that have over the past few days become treacherous sheets of thick, uneven ice that haven't been treated with a speck of salt or sand, most likely because you are too busy removing "harmful" snowbanks that will "impede traffic". I don't know about you, but somehow I think shutting down large sections of major roads during peak traffic periods is going to impede traffic and be a lot more dangerous for driving that a few pieces of snow or ice falling into the road from snowbanks. Here's an idea - make it illegal to park on the sidestreets during the winter if you're concerned about snow removal and impeding traffic. It's called a garage, a driveway, or a parking lot. There's hundreds all over the city - and it will boost the economy at the same time. Instead of spending 20 million to remove snowbanks, we can benefit of the cheapness of drivers who don't want to pay to park their vehicles, and would rather clog up the neighborhoods of others.

P.S. I'm supposed to be in class right now. Steeles is still shut down, and I couldn't even get to my bus stop to even try and get on a bus going in the direction of the university. The sound of ear piercing honking is still ringing in my ear, and who knows when/if I'll be able to attend classes again. Who wants to bet I'll be reimbursed the cost of my missed class by the city? Yeah right.

You know it's love when a wireless internet router is your Valentine's Day gift, and it's one of the most thoughtful Valentine's gifts you've ever recieved.

In other news, I've been pondering a heated dilemma that's been plaguing humankind for as long as humans have existed. I believe I have come up with a draw between forces. It's possibly the greatest inovation since Hot Pockets - Humans version 2.0: the link between the Evolution Theory and the Higher Power Creation theory. Just like computer programmers, God introduced humans in stages, versions if you will. Maybe a little beta testing before the final grand introduction to the public. Ask the anthopologists for the exact number, but I'm sure we'd be somewhere around version 2359086.2. Or you know, whatever.

Karen fact number 233.5: I have a guilty pleasure in monster trucking and all machines that make big noises and tend to light on fire from time to time. There's a little Middle America in all of us, I like to think. Hence my masterpiece, in all it's copyright-tastic glory:

Now I must go sip my mimosa and cuss out random faceless Internet players on Guitar Hero. Rock on my friends, rock on.